TO BE OR NOT TO BE

FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS IVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE MY FREEDOM TO LIVE WITHIN MY MEANS, FREEDOM TO BUY FOOD PAY BILLS AND CLOTHES. I LOST THAT FIGHT THIS MONTH BUT I HAVENT LOST MY SPIRIT. I KNOW THAT AT SOME POINT IN TIME I WILL REGAIN ALL THAT I HAVE LOST BECAUSE GOD ALWAYS HAS MY BACK. I'M STILL HURT THAT MY INDEPENDANCE WILL BE TAKEN AWAY BUT IN EXCHANGE FOR THAT GOD HAS PLACED A SUPPORT AROUND ME LIKE NO OTHER. I THANK GOD FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT STOOD BEHIND ME AND HELPED ME MENTALLLY AND PHYSICALLY GET THROUGH THIS STRUGGLE. I AM ON TO NEW GOALS AND STRUGGLES. I WILL REGROUP AND REFOCUS ON WHATS IMPORTANT. THIS OBSTACLE IN MY LIFE HAS MADE ME STRONGER AND HAS MADE ME REALLY THINK ABOUT HOW SELFISH PEOPLE CAN BE WHEN THINGS DON'T GO THERE WAY I WENT TO MANY PLACES TO REQUEST HELP TRIED MANY THINGS THAT I THOUGHT WOUOD HELP BUT IT AFTER AWHILE I JUST HIT A BRICK WALL. NO MATTER WHERE LIFE TAKES ME AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE, TO BE OR NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION?

BROKE AND I HAVE A JOB

I ASK MYSELF EVERYDAY "HOW THE HECK AM I BROKE, WITH A  JOB MAKING A DECENT SALARY"? HOW CRAZY IS IT THAT ? WHY SHOULD WE SUFFER TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT? WHY CANT THE SYSTEM BE FAIR AND ALLOW US TO BE ABLE TO SUPPORT OURSELVES WHILE STILL TAKING CARE OF OUR RESPONSIBILITIES? WE AREN'T TRYING TO RUN FROM OUR RESPONSIBILITIES. I'M SURE MOST OF US WERE TAKING CARE OF OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT BEING TOLD BY THE SYSTEM HEY YOU NEED TO PAY THIS AMOUNT TO THE OTHER PARENT AND YOU STOOD THERE AND SAID BUT I AM DOING THAT I BUY MY BABY CLOTHES AND SHOES, FOOD AND WHEN NEEDED PAY SOME BILLS. WHILE THE CUSTODIAL PARENT STANDS THERE SILENT ALLOWING THE HEARING EXAMINER TO THROW YOU RIGHT UNDER THE BUS. NO SUPPORT FROM THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE UPSET WITH YOU MAY BE YOU DIDN'T BUY THEM SOMETHING OR YOU SHOWED UP WITH YOUR NEW BOO. IN OTHER WORDS MOVED ON FROM THEIR CRAZY ASS AND NOW THEY'RE MAD. SO NOW YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE SAYING WOW ITS HARD TO BELIEVE I ACTUALLY GOT INVOLVED WITH THE DEVILS SIBLING. THE MESSED UP PART IS THAT FROM THE NEXT 18 TO 21 YRS THIS PERSON WILL BE IN YOUR LIFE. MAYBE NOT DIRECTLY BUT IN THE BACKGROUND. NEVER GIVING YOU A BREAK AND ALWAYS TRYING TO STICK IT TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FALL FOR THE BULL CRAP AND NOW THEY HAVE BECOME THE SCORNED EX WHO WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE IT DOWN EVEN IF THEY FIND THE NEXT VICTIM FOR THEM TO STICK THEIR VENOM INTO. I ACTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR MY EX HE WILL ALWAYS BE THE SCORNED EX WHO WILL NEVER PROGRESS BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY BEING THE MISERABLE EX ALWAYS TRYING TO STICK IT TO ME. LITTLE DOES HE KNOW I WONT ALWAYS BE MESSED UP I HAVE SOMEONE ON MY SIDE THAT HE WILL NEVER HAVE BECAUSE HE HAS NO HEART OR GOOD SOUL.

CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. I KNOW YOUR SAYING TO YOURSELF  SHE 'S CRAZY WHY WOULD SUPPORTING YOUR OWN CHILD BE ILLEGAL. WELL THE REASON I STRONGLY BELIEVE THIS IS BECAUSE WHILE SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD IS YOUR OBLIGATION WHETHER YOU DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD OR NOT THE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO LEAVE THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT IN THE GUTTER. NOW HOW CAN IT BE LEGAL FOR A HEARING EXAMINER TO TELL YOU IF YOU CANT AFFORD YOUR APARTMENT THEN MOVEOR GO TO A SHELTER. IF YOURE LIKE ME HOW MUCH CHEAPER OR "REASONABLE" DOES IT GET THEN NYCHA AND WE ALREADY WHAT THE SHELTER SYSTEM IS LIKE DISGUSTINGLY DIRTY ALL KINDS OF DISEASES AND YOUR WIND UP GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES TRYING TO GET OUT. HOW CAN YOU FOCUS ON YOUR JOB YOUR LIFE  YOUR WELL BEING IF YOUR DEPRESSEDE AND WORRIED ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO LAY YOUR HEAD TO REST OR WILL I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT THIS WEEK. YOU CANT MAKE FUTURE PLANS, OR EVEN GO TO A SIMPLE MOVIE. FORGET ABOUT ASKING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST AS TIRED AS YOU, THEY DONT WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE YOU KNOW THOSE FAMOUS WORDS "CAN I GET A COUPLE OF DOLLARS UNTIL NEXT PAY DAY" KNOW ING HEY WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN. ITS HARD TO WALK AROUND WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH WHEN YOU FEEL SO LOW. NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG I KNOW AS CHILDREWN GROW UP THEIR NEEDS CHANGE AND IT BECOMES MORE COSTLY TO TAKE CARE OF THEM BUT HOW CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD OR CHILDREN WHEN YOU HAVED A MIGRAINE FROM YOUR PRESSURE BEING SO HIGH UP OR YOUR SO STRESSED THAT YOU START DEVELOPING HEALTH ISSUES THAT MAKE YOU SO SICK YOU WIND UP IN THE HOSPITAL. WHAT GOOD ARE YOU TO YOUR CHILDREN WHEN YOU CAN EVEN THROW A BALL WITH THEM OR TAKE THEM TO A MOVIE. WHY ARE WE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR ACTIONS WHILE THE "CUSTODIAL PARENTS ARE COLLECTING THE CHECK AND NOT LETTING YOU SEE YOU'RE OWN CHILD OR ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK TO THEM JUST TO SAY HELLO. WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU GO TO COURT THEY ONLY LOOK AT YOUR PAYSTUB, WHERE'S THE OTHER PARTY'S PAYSUB. TAKING CARE OF A CHILD SHOULD BE A 50/50 THING BECAUSE WHILE YOU'RE WALKING AROUND IN THE SAME SHOES FRO TWO OR THREE YEARS THE OTHER PERSON FILLED UP THEIR WARDROBE WITH THIS YEARS LATEST. BESIDES THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT "MOST" OF US NON CUSTODIAL PARENTS KNOEW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO AND WERE PROBABLY TAKING CARE OF OUR RESPONSIBILITY BUT THE OTHER PARENT GOT SPITEFUL AFETR A BIG ARGUMENT AND TOOK US TO THE MAN/WOMAN TO PROVE A LESSON KNOW THAT IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT THEY WOULD ENJOY BEING IN OUR SHOES, THEY WOULD BE BITCHING AND COMPLAINING AND PROBABLY PLEADING TO BE TAKEN OFF THIS CHILD SUPPORT MADNESS. THIS NEVER ENDING ROLLER COASTER RIDE IS CRAZY. THIS CHILD SUPPORT IS RUINING LIVES ITS MAKING TWENTY YRS OLD LOOK LIKE THEY'RE FORTY WITH ALL THE GRAY HAIRS. SO YES CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO RUIN MY LIFE JUST TO MAINTAIN HIS LIFE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW ONLY A SMALL PORTION GOES TO THE KIDS WHILE THE MAJORITY GOES TO HIM BECAUSE HE NEEDS HIS CIGARETTES MONEY TO ENTERTAIN HIS WOMEN AND SELF ENTERTAINMENT. WHILE MY CHILDREN WALK AROUND WITH TIGHT CLOTHES, SHOES AND SNEAKERS THAT DONT FIT AND GIVEN THE ALL MIGHTY EXCUSE" I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY FOR A GAME". I SAY WE PUT ALL OUR CARDS ON THE TABLE, REVIEW MY EXPENSES AND AFTER WE TAKE OUT HOW MUCH I NEED TO PAY MY RENT MY PHONE MY MEDS AND GROCERIES THEN WE SEE HOW MUCH I CAN AFFORD TO GIVE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR NOW THE SYSTEM IS ROBBING US BLIND AND THE SAD PART IS FOR NOW THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO BECAUSE YOU CAN DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST A PERSON ROBBING YOU BUT THE SYSTEM YOU JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH IT HAPPEN.

AT THE END OF MY ROPE

ITS BEEN A MINUTE SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE BUT HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU'RE AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE. SINCE JULY OF LAST YEAR I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE ROUGHEST TIME OF MY LIFE AND FOR SOME TIME I JUST KNEW THINGS WERE GOING TO GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE FOR I HAD MADE DECISIONS ON MY OWN THAT IMPACTED MY LIFE AS WELL AS MY CHILDRENS. I DIDNT THINK IT THROUGH AND I BLINDLY TRUSTED THE DEVIL WHO WAS DRESSED AS MY EX HUSBAND. I AM TO BLAME FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED. I DISABLED MY ABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF NO LONGER ABLE TO PAY MY RENT MY BILLS BUY MY FOOD OR MEDICATION. EVERYDAY I ASKED MYSELF WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF , I HAD THE DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER TELLING ME HEY ITS TOO LATE TO FIX IT SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL END IT ALL AND AN ANGEL ON THE OTHER SIDE TELLING ME DONT DO IT YOU MADE A MISTAKE BUT GOD HAS YOUR BACK JUST TRUST HIM. THE PULLING BACK AND FORTH WAS CAUSING A STRUGGLE IN ME THAT WAS GETTING HARD TO HANDLE. I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WONDERING WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. HOW AM I GETTING OUT FROM UNDER ALL THIS MESS. UNTIL FINALLY ONE DAY I JUST STARTING PRAYING AND MY DAD CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME YOU ARE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION TURN AROUND AND GO THE OTHER WAY. IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW LIFE. ALL MY CONCERNS AND PROBLEMS DIDNT SEEM SO GREAT. I MADE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO ACCEPT GOD BACK INTO MY LIFE AND ASKED MY BEST FRIEND CAN I VISIT HIS CHURCH. WITH A BIG SMILE AND NO HESITATION HE SAID YES. I WENT AND I KNEW IMMEDIATELY I WAS HOME. MY LIFE HAS BEEN SO MUCH GREATER NOW. GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE COME TO MY AID AND THATNKS TO THEM I HAVENT GONE HUNGRY. HE'S HELPED ME PAY MY BILLS LIKE MY PHONE SO THAT I CAN KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MY CHILDREN, AND HE'S LIFTED ALL THE BURDENS THAT WERE WEIGHING ME DOWN TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN STAND UP TALL AND WALK PROUDLY JUST KNOWING I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I NO LONGER WISH TO HARM MYSELF BECAUSE NOW I HAVE A NEW LEASE ON LIFE. THINGS MAY BE OUT OF MY CONTROL BUT THEY'RE NEVER OUT OF GODS CONTROL. WHILE I AM STILL IN A FINANCIAL BIND BECAUSE MY RENT IS SOOOOOOOOO FAR BEHIND AND I WILL SOON BE IN COURT WITH THEM I AM LEAVING IT IN GODS HANDS. IF GOD WANTS ME TO STAY IN THIS APARTMENT HE WILL FIND A WAY TO FOR ME TO STAY IF NOT THEN I WILL BE MOVING AND GOING THE THE MOTIONS OF STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN. EITHER WAY I KNOW GOD HAS MY BACK AND I HAVE FAITH HE WILL HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS. AS PARENTS WE MAKE DECISIONS AND WE TRUST THAT IT IS THE RIGHT ONE BUT WE FORGET TO PRAY AND ASK GODS HELP. THE COURT SYSTEM IS IN OUR LIVES AND THE ARE PLAYING GOD WITH OUR LIVES. FINANCIALLY CRIPPLING US LIKE AS IF THEY ARE PUNISHING US FOR SOME WRONG DOINGS. I KNOW IT MAY SEEM LIKE YOUR AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE BUT TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT GOD IS REWARDING YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE AND HE IS EXTENDING YOUR ROPE SO THAT IT REACHES EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU.

CRIPPLED BY THE SYSTEM

WITH THE WAY THE SYSTEM IS GOING I FOR SEE ALOT OF REDUCED FARE PASSES AND HANDICAP PERMITS FOR NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS. REALLY WHAT THE SYSTEM IS DOING IS HANDICAPPING US AND NOT ALLOWING US TO BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FORE OUR CHILDREN. HOW DOES ONE PROVIDE A MEAL FOR THEIR CHILD AND SAY NO ITS OK I DON'T HAVE TO EAT. YOU'RE WRONG IF YOU DON'T EAT AT SOME POINT IN TIME YOU WILL BECOME SO SICK THAT YOUR CHILD WONT BE ABLE TO EAT EITHER. WAY  MUST STAY STRONG AND OF WELL MIND IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR CHILDREN STAY AS NOURISHED AS US. UNFORTUNATELY THE SYSTEM COULD CARE LESS WHERE YOUR NEXT MEAL COMES FROM, CAN YOU PAY YOUR BASIC BILLS, DO YOU HAVE A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD THAT YOU CAN CALL HOME, CAN YOU GO TO THE GROCERY STORE AND BUY A DECENT AMOUNT OF FOOD THAT WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH THE WEEK. NONE OF THESE CONCERNS ARE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION WHEN ATTACKING THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS. THAT'S WHY ALOT OF FATHERS AND MOTHERS ARE RUNNING FROM THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING IN THEIR CHILD'S LIFE. NOW THE CHILD SUFFERS BECAUSE THIS "CHILD SUPPORT MONSTER" IS BEING DANGLED OVER THEIR HEAD AND THEY DON'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY OUT. IT ALSO ATTACKS US MENTALLY WE CONTEMPLATE OK HOW CAN THIS PERSON BE TAKEN OUT AND PERMANENTLY OUT OF MY LIFE WHICH ULTIMATELY GUESS WHAT ONLY PERSON REALLY AFFECTED IS YOUR CHILD. WHY ISN'T THE SYSTEM PULLING TOGETHER TO LOOK OUT FOR THE BEST INTEREST OF ALL PARTIES INVOLVED. HOW CAN THEY CONSIDER THAT THE ONLY CONCERN IS THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. I MEAN HELL ITS CALLED FAMILY COURT NOT ADOLESCENT COURT. THEY SHOULD BE LOOKING AT THE FAMILY FINANCES ON BOTH SIDES AND ALL INCOMES BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION. ESPECIALLY WHEN CUSTODIAL PARENTS GO AND APPLY FOR OTHER OUTSIDE INCOME SUCH AS SSI, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, RECEIVE VETERANS BENEFITS, ETC ETC. I MEAN DOES ANYONE ELSE AGREE WITH ME LIKE DOES YOUR KIDS EVEN NEED THAT MUCH MONEY A MONTH AND DOESN'T IT SEEM LIKE THE CUSTODIAL PARENT IS GETTING OVER LIKE A PHAT RAT. WHERES THE JUSTICE IN THAT. WHY DOESN'T THE HEARING EXAMINER FAIL TO SEE THAT SOMEWHERE DOWN THE LINE THEY ARE DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD BY ENFORCING THESE RULES AND REGULATIONS THAT FORCE THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT INTO POVERTY WHILE THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT WALKS AROUND WITH ALL THEIR NEEDS MET AND THE CHILDREN NEVER SEE OR BENEFIT FROM THE SACRIFICES THEIR PARENT IS BEING FORCED INTO. WE NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS POPULAR TO OTHER BELIEFS LOVE OUR CHILDREN AND WHAT THE BEST FOR THEM MAYBE EVEN BETTER THAN WE HAD NUT WITH THESE LAWS THE WAY THEY ARE NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS ARE MISSING OUT ON THE JOY OF BEING PARENTS BECAUSE WE ARE DROWNING IN A GLASS OF WATER AND NO ONE IS THROWING US A LIFESAVER.

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND?

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND NOW YOU CALLING THE SHOTS? I DON'T THINK SO. I MAY BE SUFFERING AND GOING THROUGH ALOT OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS BUT I'M STILL THE ONE HOLDING THE CARDS IN MY HANDS. YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME, YOU'RE ROBBING ME BLIND AND THE WORST PART IS THAT MY CHILDREN DONT EVEN GET TO SEE A DIME. WHERE DO YOU GET OFF THINKING YOU HAVE THE RIGHTS OVER MY HARD EARNED MONEY? I'M THE ONE THAT GOT UP WENT TO WORK DEALT WITH THE YOUTH AND CO WORKERS WHILE YOU SAT AT HOME COLLECTING WELFARE. YOU'RE 52 YEARS OLD NO PENSION NO LIFE NO FAMILY TO TURN TO JUST A MISERABLE HUMAN BEING. I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR YOU WHEN YOU COULD WALK INTO A COURT ROOM AND STAND THERE PROUDLY SAYING YES I'M ON PUBLIC ASSISTANCE. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR BODY YOU CAN WORK BUT YOU'RE JUST TOO DAMN LAZY TO GO GET A JOB. YOU DONT DESERVE ANYBODY'S RESPECT. WHILE I BUST MY ASS TO MAKE A LIVING TO SUPPORT MY CHILDREN YOU FIGURED YOU WOULD CAPITALIZE ON MY BLESSING OF HAVING A JOB. JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? THIS SYSTEM IS GEARED TO MAKE SURE THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT SUFFERS. HEARING EXAMINER LOOKED AT ME WHILE I CRIED AND SAID HEY JUST FIND A CHEAPER APARTMENT, I LOOKED AT HER AND WAS FORCED TO HOLD MY CHOICE WORDS, BUT MY LAWYER SAID BUT YOUR HONOR SHE LIVES IN HOUSING. SHE SHRUGGED HER SHOULDERS AND SAID WELL THERES NOTHING I CAN DO. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE YOU MADE A DECISION JUST CHANGE IT MAKE A DECISION THAT WILL BENEFIT BOTH ME AND MY CHILDREN, BUT SHE SAID NEXT CASE AND LEFT MY CASE EXACTLY HOW IT WAS SO I REMAIN  THE SAME VICTIM OF THE NYS CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM. ENSLAVED BY THE LAWS THAT SAY WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR WELLING BEING ITS ALL ABOUT THE KIDS NOW. REALLY YOU SAT THERE AND LET THAT WOMAN RULE ON A CASE THAT SHOULD HAVE NEVER CAME BEFORE HER BECAUSE I WAS NEVER A DEAD BEAT MOM. I SENT YOU MONEY AND CLOTHES AND SHOES. MADE SURE MY DAUGHTERS HAIR WAS DONE BY MAKING SURE YOU HAD EXTRA CASH TO TAKE HER. BUT NOOOOOO THAT WASN'T ENOUGH. YOU NEEDED CIGARETTE MONEY, GAS MONEY, FEMALE ENTERTAINMENT MONEY MOVIE MONEY ETC. WHILE MY CHILDREN GET NOTHING BECAUSE EVEN FOR XMAS YOU GAVE THEM GIFTS FROM AN AGENCY. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT. IT DOESN'T EVEWN PHASE YOU TO HEAR HOW BAD I'M DOING YOU ACT SURPRISED LIKE YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. WELL IM HERE TO TELL YOU NO YOU DONT HAVE THE UPPER HAND I DO, IM CALLING THE SHOTS ON THE TERMS OF MYYYYY DIVORCE FROM YOU. IM TAKING MY LIFE PRIDE AND DIGNITY BACK. I SAT BACK LAST YEAR AND FELT SORRY FOR MYSELF CRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING BELIEVING THAT I WAS BEING PUNISHED FOR SACRIFICING MY LOVE FROM MY CHILDREN AND ALLOWING MYYYYY CHILDREN TO LIVE WITH YOU, BUT THIS YEAR ITS MY YEAR I'M TAKING CONTROL OF MY SITUATION. GOD LET ME SEE THAT I WAS FIGHTING ALONE SO OF COURSE I WASN'T GOING TO WIN. NOW GOD IS BEHIND ME SO NATURALLY I WILL BE THE WINNER. SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND? I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THE ANSWER IS QUITE SIMPLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

NEW DIRECTIONS COMING IN 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2011 WAS A ROUGH YEAR FOR ME. I WAS ATTACKED FOR EVERY ANGLE . ITS AMAZING THAT I EVEN MADE IT THROUGH INTO 2012. WITH THAT BEING SAID I HAVE RECOVERED FROM ALL ATTACKS AND IM BACK TO RECLAIM WHATS MINE. NO MORE MS NICE GAL. SO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO MESS WITH ME ATTACK MY CHARACTER AND ASSASSINATE MY PRIDE WELL GUESS WHAT I HAVE REGAINED MY STRENGTH AND IM TAKING THE WORLD AND WHAT MINE BY STORM. I WILL NOT BE ALLOWING ANYONE TO BE WALKING ALL OVER ME BECAUSE IM NOT A DOOR MAT. IM RUTH THE WOMAN GOD PLACED ON THIS EARTH TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW WONDERFUL AND MERCIFUL HE IS. GOD HAS PULLED ME OUT OF THE STORM AND HAS GIVEN ME THE TOOLS I NEED TO FIGHT SO IN 2012 THERE WILL BE CHANGES, I WILL BE CHASING AND ACCOMPLISHING MY GOALS TO BE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENT AGAIN. I WILL GET MY LIFE BACK AND WILL REGAIN POSSESSION OF WHAT MINE. YOU MAY HAVE WON THE BATTLE BUT I WILL WIN THE WAR. THIS YEAR IS MY YEAR TO SHINE. I WILL BE LOOKING FOR WAYS TO EMPOWER EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL OUT THERE THAT IS SUFFERING THE "INJUSTICE OF THE CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM"