AT THE END OF MY ROPE

ITS BEEN A MINUTE SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE BUT HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE YOU'RE AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE. SINCE JULY OF LAST YEAR I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE ROUGHEST TIME OF MY LIFE AND FOR SOME TIME I JUST KNEW THINGS WERE GOING TO GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE FOR I HAD MADE DECISIONS ON MY OWN THAT IMPACTED MY LIFE AS WELL AS MY CHILDRENS. I DIDNT THINK IT THROUGH AND I BLINDLY TRUSTED THE DEVIL WHO WAS DRESSED AS MY EX HUSBAND. I AM TO BLAME FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED. I DISABLED MY ABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF NO LONGER ABLE TO PAY MY RENT MY BILLS BUY MY FOOD OR MEDICATION. EVERYDAY I ASKED MYSELF WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF , I HAD THE DEVIL ON ONE SHOULDER TELLING ME HEY ITS TOO LATE TO FIX IT SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL END IT ALL AND AN ANGEL ON THE OTHER SIDE TELLING ME DONT DO IT YOU MADE A MISTAKE BUT GOD HAS YOUR BACK JUST TRUST HIM. THE PULLING BACK AND FORTH WAS CAUSING A STRUGGLE IN ME THAT WAS GETTING HARD TO HANDLE. I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WONDERING WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. HOW AM I GETTING OUT FROM UNDER ALL THIS MESS. UNTIL FINALLY ONE DAY I JUST STARTING PRAYING AND MY DAD CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME YOU ARE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION TURN AROUND AND GO THE OTHER WAY. IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW LIFE. ALL MY CONCERNS AND PROBLEMS DIDNT SEEM SO GREAT. I MADE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO ACCEPT GOD BACK INTO MY LIFE AND ASKED MY BEST FRIEND CAN I VISIT HIS CHURCH. WITH A BIG SMILE AND NO HESITATION HE SAID YES. I WENT AND I KNEW IMMEDIATELY I WAS HOME. MY LIFE HAS BEEN SO MUCH GREATER NOW. GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE COME TO MY AID AND THATNKS TO THEM I HAVENT GONE HUNGRY. HE'S HELPED ME PAY MY BILLS LIKE MY PHONE SO THAT I CAN KEEP IN TOUCH WITH MY CHILDREN, AND HE'S LIFTED ALL THE BURDENS THAT WERE WEIGHING ME DOWN TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN STAND UP TALL AND WALK PROUDLY JUST KNOWING I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I NO LONGER WISH TO HARM MYSELF BECAUSE NOW I HAVE A NEW LEASE ON LIFE. THINGS MAY BE OUT OF MY CONTROL BUT THEY'RE NEVER OUT OF GODS CONTROL. WHILE I AM STILL IN A FINANCIAL BIND BECAUSE MY RENT IS SOOOOOOOOO FAR BEHIND AND I WILL SOON BE IN COURT WITH THEM I AM LEAVING IT IN GODS HANDS. IF GOD WANTS ME TO STAY IN THIS APARTMENT HE WILL FIND A WAY TO FOR ME TO STAY IF NOT THEN I WILL BE MOVING AND GOING THE THE MOTIONS OF STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN. EITHER WAY I KNOW GOD HAS MY BACK AND I HAVE FAITH HE WILL HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS. AS PARENTS WE MAKE DECISIONS AND WE TRUST THAT IT IS THE RIGHT ONE BUT WE FORGET TO PRAY AND ASK GODS HELP. THE COURT SYSTEM IS IN OUR LIVES AND THE ARE PLAYING GOD WITH OUR LIVES. FINANCIALLY CRIPPLING US LIKE AS IF THEY ARE PUNISHING US FOR SOME WRONG DOINGS. I KNOW IT MAY SEEM LIKE YOUR AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE BUT TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT GOD IS REWARDING YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE AND HE IS EXTENDING YOUR ROPE SO THAT IT REACHES EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU.